Introduction
This week’s MSLD632 blog
deals with a very personal example of how poor conflict resolution skills by my
employer and more importantly myself, resulted in a significant financial loss
by both parties and an emotional loss for me. This story has been told before,
just not in the context of analyzing where sound conflict resolution practices found
in Levine (2009) could have changed the outcome.
Background
In May of 2006, I was a
technical writer for a major airline, based in Phoenix Arizona, going on six
years. Life was very good. June of 2006, two of my former bosses, who happened
to be good friends of mine left the airline and went to work for a software company
in Albuquerque New Mexico. I decided
to take off and follow them, and do so that very September. New Mexico, like
many states now, is a ‘right to work’ state and terms of employment did not
require joining a union. Also it was made clear by the company that the first
180 days would be a probationary period. I had both the critical and personal
skills to do a great job. Never had a problem with an employer before, so no
sweat.
There were two medical conditions
(type II diabetes and sleep apnea) I had at the time, one that I knew about and
the other was ‘undercover’ so to speak. The sleep apnea had qualified me as a
preferred veteran, so the company was aware that I had sleep apnea and they
were assured by me that it was being successfully treated.
Clash of Values?
The first couple of weeks
went by without a hitch. Then burritos for lunch and breakfast was discovered.
I soon discovered that eating such rich foods was great for the taste buds but
not so great for the gut. I quickly put on an extra 10 lbs. and sometime during
this period I began to get drowsy after lunch and started having to fight the
urge to want to nap. Strong coffee would be my crutch. I continued like this
for the next several months, and continued gaining weight. By this time I was
toting 20 extra lbs.
My boss called me in his
office and informed me that there was a big team project coming up and that practical
the entire team would be in the main conference room working on laptops from
the conference table and the VP would join the team as an observer. He then
stated he felt this format would be very productive and that this would be a
great opportunity to show the team what I could do. I was definitely excited!
That next Monday we all
came in and found our seats at this huge conference table. I was seated across
from the VP. Work began and was fairly uneventful. Lunchtime came without delay
and the VP decided to order in those delicious burritos everyone so loved. Good
move by the VP to buy everyone lunch that day. Bad move by me to eat all of
that enormous specimen called a burrito. About an hour after lunch concluded I
dozed off while continuing to type and I could hear myself talking. I’m really
not sure how long my eyes were closed but when they opened all that could be
seen where blank faces. The VP stared at me for a moment but went back to his
business and so did I, at that moment it seemed like the appropriate thing to
do.
Conflict
Within two days I saw my doctor and he promptly got me into the
sleep study lab to see if they could help. Upon reading my machine the sleep
technician informed me that my machine needed to be adjusted from a setting of
8 to 11. The reason for the change was mostly due to the higher elevation
(Albuquerque is at 5600 feet above sea level and Phoenix is only at 1100 feet)
and he said I should see a noticeable difference. I did, but I noticed that I was
still feeling tired after lunch. At this point in time I was still unaware that
I had Type II diabetes.
The day before I reached six months of employment my boss informed
me that the VP had something to discuss with me. He said he didn’t know what it
was about when I asked him, so I thought it might be about the training
material I had been working on. I walked into his office and he asked me to
shut the door and take a seat. He was quiet, so I began the conversation…”so,
is there something about the training material that you didn’t like”? He broke
his silence when he uttered the words “Eric, I’m sorry to say your services are
no longer needed.” I sat in total disbelief, my mind racing and quickly stopping
at the moment I dozed off in front of him. What was I going to say to rebut? He
had already made up his mind (he didn’t offer to hear what I had to say). My
reply was “okay let me gather my things”. I resigned myself to having nothing
to say.
Having read much of what Levine (2009) suggests about conflict
resolution, I gave up to soon. I gave up to avoid conflict when by confronting
the conflict and the conflict was this: VP believed I should be fired; I
believed I should be allowed to carry on. Not that explaining my sleep apnea and protect
veteran status would have made any difference, but there is a chance I could
have resonated with the human side of him had I told my story. There are at least three components of Levine’s
principles of a new way of thinking that could have changed the outcome by
telling my story: 1. Becoming open and describing my struggles with sleep apnea
and my recent visit to the doctor. 2. Disclosing feelings about the job and how
much I loved the work. 3. Becoming ‘ResponseAble’
and admitting that I need to do a better job of watching how much I eat for
lunch. (Levine, 2009, p. 46).
The financial cost of choosing to avoid conflict is about 40K
dollars in lost wages (six months’ worth) for the year for me personally. The
financial cost to the company is likely about the same. The emotional cost to
me has been long lasting “Regret (or its positive cousin, satisfaction) is
generated by comparing the outcome of your final choice to your knowledge (or
expectations) regarding the outcomes that other alternatives would have
generated.” (Hoch & Kunreuther, 2001, p. 30).
Aftermath
As it turns out, I
convinced myself I was through as a technical writer. My medical condition had
deteriorated to the point where I could no longer be sitting for long periods
of time without dozing off. Believing I needed to start a new chapter in my
life, I turned to my cousin in my home state of Florida and went to work for
him repairing multi-million dollar irrigation systems at golf-courses. My
cousin was really good to me and he took me around and trained me on what I
needed to do. It was hard physical labor, just the kind of work I thought I
needed to keep me awake.
One day on a ride to a
job-site, I told him my story and why I thought I was done as a technical
writer. After hearing my story he wasn’t satisfied I had all the answers, so he
told me to go see a doctor about my problem. I did as he told me to do. The
doctor order a full set of lab work and a week later I was back at his office
for the results. Upon entering his office the first words out of his mouth was
did anyone ever tell you that you were diabetic. At first I was confused “no
nobody ever has…why”… “Well son that may explain your drowsiness after lunch!”
I have been back as a technical writer now for almost 10 years!
Summary
Confronting conflict may
have saved me and the company considerable amount of money. Fortunately I had a
cousin cared enough about me who help me turn things back around and return to
a field I love. No doubt an opportunity to confront conflict was missed and now
the consequences are clear. The good news is that the resulting damage was
minimized.
References:
Hoch,
S. J., & Kunreuther, H. C. (2001). Wharton
on making decisions. (1st edition.). Hoboken, NJ: John Wiley & Sons Inc.
Levine,
S. (2009). Getting to resolution: Turning conflict into collaboration.
San Francisco, CA: Berrett-Koehler Publishers, Inc.
